Films: Robot Jox (1989)

Alias: None

Type: Man-Made

Location: Desert/Eldritch location

Height/Weight: That of large buildings.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: Many people cannot think of anything cooler than giant robots beating the spark out of each other. And we can't blame them either. Turns out, the people of the desolate future have very similar sediments too.

History: In the future, nuclear war between the U.S. and the Soviets has reduced the world to a ruin where war is no longer existent. Instead, conflicts are settled with giant robot fights. These robots, called "Jox", are piloted by skilled fighters, with Alexander being the current champ. However, heroic Achilles might be able to turn the tide in his faction's favor.

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: In the final fight between Achilles and Alex's robots, they take it out into space, and eventually back to Earth where Achilles uses the arm of a previously downed Jox to finish off Alex's bot. Once they're face to face and after a brief scuffle, they both agree that Achilles won the fight fair and square.

Powers/Abilities: The Jox come with a variety of weapons including lasers, standard guns, missile launchers, and in Alex’s bot’s case...a chainsaw crotch. We don't know either.

Weakness: Heavy artillery.

Scariness Factor: 2-These robots are completely within humanity's control, and are relatively tame in design. That said, the people of the future might want to invest in better designed bleachers so that a collapsing bot doesn't crush them all next time.

Trivia: -As one might guess, this film was inspired by the Japanese "Transformers" toy line.

-If you'd like to drive Achilles insane with guilt (like a bastard), you can play him "The Becoming" by Nine Inch Nails, which samples the sounds of the screaming masses being accidentally crushed by his Jox.